Shadowhunters: Dead Blogger’s Party

Aaand I’m back with my review (read: jumbled mess of slightly relevant thoughts) of Shadowhunters ep 3. Spoilers, I guess.

  • “vamps”
  • My housemate played a drinking game. She had fun.
  • Clary berates Izzy and Alec for leaving Simon alone in the van. What she neglects to say is, “You left Simon alone in the mystery machine” because that is what it is
  • The runes look like a burn. Or, as was commented by my drinking housemate, a bad skin rash
  • “You’re vampires! I didn’t even know you guys existed until yesterday!” Yeah, me neither, Simon. The mythology of the show’s universe is badly explained
  • WHO ARE THE CLAVE (my other housemate described it as, the Clave is the Government and the Institute is the local council. Good job, Housemate)
  • WHO ARE SEELIES
  • WHAT ARE NIXIES (like pixies, apparently)
  • Clary ‘I’ll just take care of it myself’ Fray, ladies and gentlemen
  • By five minutes in, my drinking housemate was suggesting we make the actors drink instead
  • Vampire Dude’s fangs were much better than the ones I got from Wilkos for Halloween
  • Vampire Lady’s nails are not practical
  • Mystery Machine in a graveyard!
  • The entire scene in the graveyard with Clary and Jace was just one big innuendo and we cracked up
  • Why can’t Alec get back into the Institute? Doesn’t he live there?
  • “I’ll see you at dawn.” Dawn. Yes. That well known very precise time.
  • The freezing time graphics were Very Cool
  • The vampires weren’t sparkly and I was sad
  • “Don’t worry my little caramel”
  • WHY DOES THIS SHOW INSIST ON OVERSEXUALISING IZZY (who is also played by the only regular woman of colour on the show)
  • You can have a female character use her sexuality without panning the camera down her body at every available opportunity. I mean. Are you even trying
  • They could have had a serious discussion about Seelies being treated as lesser peoples but instead went for a Shadowhunter who likes the ‘spice’ of a Seelie. Ok ok ok why
  • “[Camille] is very attractive.” Izzy says she gets it. Bi!Izzy 2k16
  • The whole ‘I’m gonna let this girl who trusts me be enchanted by a vampire who might bite her against her will without telling her anything or warning her what might happen because I need his keys’ schtick from Jace was not cool
  • Talking of Jace, he really reminds me of someone. I think it might be the guy who played Peter in the early 2000s live action Peter Pan. Even though they look nothing like each other
  • I feel like the entire Camille and Simon storyline was…gross (apparently it doesn’t happen in the book). The encanto thing was basically a way to alter his mind so he didn’t know what was going on, and she used his feelings of ‘love’ against him. It seemed kinda like sexual assault to me.
  • ‘Bloody’ Mary
  • The sound and visual effects on the motorbike was just like. Rainbow Road 2.0
  • The unexplained backstory between Alec and Izzy better be explained soon
  • Slow mo action shot. We had enough of this on Merlin
  • This love angle is killing me. They should be illegal
  • Whoever is writing, I beg you: please stop getting characters to call characters they’re talking to by their names. We had “Do not start this again with me, Alec. Alec stop!” in like. Five seconds.

Overall, this episode gave me really negative vibes. Parts of it were fun and caps shouty, but only because they were so ridiculous. The other bits were just skeevy.

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